We go through life doing and saying a lot of things, but who are we really? Do we know?

It's an all-too-frequent reality that we, as people, don't know who we are. It's true that if you ask where we come from, or what our job is, or who we're married to—we'll likely be able to answer. But, truly knowing who we are in the depths of our soul...many are unaware.

Ancient philosophers challenged us each to "know thyself." And though this was posed as a deep, spiritual question, many Westerners confuse it as a question of vocation, preference or status.

You see, for many people, life has become so busy that who we are is often shrouded in responsibilities and tasks, in possessions and accomplishments, acclaim and engaging stories. So that once these things are 'put on' around us, they form a sort of 'house of cards'—something we think is a protection to us, but is only the semblance of it. Something we think is direction, but leads nowhere. Something we think defines us, but is really only a footnote to who we are.

Who we are is much more refined and ethereal. It's an identity born into us, yet that is developed over time. It's what we do, yes, but it's also why we do what we do. It's what goodness we're striving for, and how we can make a difference based on the aspects of our character that make us unique, yet join us—communally—with the whole. It's not that easy to pin down, for it is a deep matter of the soul. But the value in probing these areas is astronomical, immeasurable.

Yet it's often challenging for some of us to talk about this, because it's too far away from our daily, well-known perspective.

Here's an example: A person who's been living in caves underground for years will have eyes that have not seen light for so long that their vision will have almost atrophied. If you stick that person, head alight, at the top of a hill in the noonday sun—it would be unbearable.

Something so good (light) would, for them, become something that is measurably bad. This does not mean that the light itself is bad, but only that they, in their weakened state, cannot experience the joys and pleasures of being amidst the light.

Similarly, it'd be like someone who is still dealing with deeply scarring emotional abuse being able to truly appreciate the thorough emotional connection that comes from the physical act of sexual intercourse.

In both these scenarios, what is good seems bad because the normal has become skewed. Henceforth, what tends to happen is—people reject the light, because it hurts. They may not reject the sex, but they are rent after accepting it (immediately or much later)—not properly able to handle the delicate beauty of the nuanced act.

Talking to some people about deeper matters, and how they, themselves, relate, is often something quite difficult...even painful—at times tantamount to placing the visual invalid into a sunny field or the emotionally scarred person into a sexual encounter. Though the field, the marriage bed, and who the person is are good, they simply aren't ready for the truth that lay within these experiences.

But if there is, indeed, this discrepancy with some of us not knowing and understanding who we are, in the bigger picture—then how can that be rectified?

To acclimate the invalid—you place them in just a little light, increasing the intensity with time. For the scarred, you start from whence the pain began, and you work slowly through the problem until you get to the core of it, broadening in scope as you go.

With time, the light will become a delight, warming the spirit and the senses; and the sex, what it was intended: humble and incredible, uniting the two in unconditional affection.

So, what would be needed for those of us who don't know who we are? We who so venture from point to point, fulfilling rote schedules and regimens to obtain certain measures of faux-satiation for our souls? Those of us looking for money, power, fame or copious amounts of sex, resisting or ignoring the quiet pull to ask deeper questions: what do we need to switch our focus and slowly re-orient us to ourselves?

The answer is time.

Time must be leveraged for people's personal benefit. Time, that precious commodity that no one has enough to spare. We need to start by taking the time to evaluate ourselves. Who we are. Why we are. Where we are going. What is truly important. Etc.

These questions are largely unvisited, and though brief, thoroughly important.

We should ask ourselves these questions. Challenge ourselves. Get outside ourselves and think. It's here, and here alone, where we can lay the foundation of figuring out who we really are. And I'm afraid that's just the beginning. On that foundation must be build a building with the hard work of continually leaning in and asking why. Finding the weak spots and figuring out why...doggedly, even.

Once we do that, we can be a whole building. We will be a person able to seek and find true purpose—for, I believe we were all made for greater purpose than ourselves.

And once we figure out who we are, we can stop wasting time attempting to validate ourselves via our actions, and begin to more readily promote and enact the affection that makes a difference in other's lives.

Then the light will be warmer, relationships more enjoyable, and every day sweeter and more real than we ever thought possible.